Should You Avoid Social Media During A Divorce?

Social media presents a unique element for divorce lawyers to deal with when helping clients work through their divorces. Although social media has become one of the main ways for people to stay connected, particularly during the pandemic, I always recommend that clients tread very cautiously or even deactivate or delete their accounts.

Why? 

Because a good attorney knows that what gets said on social media can harm your divorce case in many ways, even affect child custody rulings.

It is very easy to "over share" information with friends or followers on social media that may not seem harmful, but could be very detrimental to your case. Spouses frequently stalk each other on social media, looking for any tidbit of information that can be used against the other person. While you may be able to control your own posts, it is very difficult to control comments made and information shared by others.

In addition, current rules allow attorneys to demand a copy of your social media history as part of the discovery process during your divorce proceedings. This is usually done in search of evidence that can be used against you to prove unfaithfulness, unfitness as a parent, or just to uncover anything negative that you have said about your spouse in the hopes of swaying the judge.

There’s also the emotional toil it can take on you. If you have family photos posted, seeing those pop up in reminders can be painful. The same can be said for seeing photos and posts from friends talking about their own families. Sharing too much information on other people’s posts is very easy to do when you are upset. At a time when your emotions are already likely to be high, all of this can make the divorce process even harder.

Also, venting about your spouse or the decision a judge made in your case on your timeline may feel good at the time; however, your friends or followers may not know how to react or even if they should. A lack of public response can also be upsetting, adding to already overcharged emotions. Not to mention, there is a possibility that the post could be forwarded to your spouse – accidentally or intentionally.

Social media can also lead to unintended consequences. Consider the temptation in the form of “friends” who could become more than “friends” at a time when you are most vulnerable. Extramarital relationships before the marriage has actually been ended are highly frowned upon, especially when children are involved.

Should you avoid social media altogether? If there is any concern over what could be found in your history, your ability to post benign items, or whether your ex-spouse may be seeking ways to affect your reputation, it is recommended that you deactivate or delete your accounts.